Happiness is something we all seek ( and even include it’s pursuit in our constitution !) but it remains difficult to quantify or measure. Pleasure and contentment are variations of happiness, but look and feel very different from one another and vary from one individual to the next. But ask most people for what they want for themselves or their children and “to be happy” is the top answer. But, what makes people happy?
Researchers say that happiness is fifty percent genetic. Some people are biologically predisposed. This seems horribly unfair to everyone else! But it is only half the story. Life circumstances in developed countries ( like us!) is only ten percent. A bit of a shock for a culture obsessed with wealth and success. The difference, however, from going from $1o,ooo a year to $50,000 is dramatically more impactful than going from $50,000 to $500,000. Once you are out of poverty, “more” has less impact. Forty percent of happiness is seen as being volitional; it is controlled by you! So, what can you do to be happier?
Freeing oneself from internal and external conflict promotes happiness. This can come from self examination or psychotherapy. Maintaining a close family and having friends also contributes. Altruism and acts of kindness get people out of their own self absorption and promote compassion to others. It is satisfying to accomplish personal goals, but not at the expense of important connections. Exercise increases well being and releases dopamine. Meditation releases endorphins. ( Chocolate releases seritonin, but not too much!). Exercising with friends and relaxing afterwards also helps peer bonding and combats loneliness. We are all competitive, but the interconnections with others can’t be sacrificed. “Compassionate meditation”, a learned skill, can increase a persons feelings of warmth and love, and can be controlled by you.
Childhood trauma, severe stress, depression and serious psychiatric or medical conditions override this equation. In the absence of these, you have far more control than you are aware. A balance of life only occurs through self examination and action!